Tag: jesus

Revisiting my visit to St. John the Wonderworker

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In 2013, by the Grace of God, I entered the Catholic Church. My journey to that personally momentous event took seven years (really, my whole life) and a great deal of searching. For a while I seriously considered becoming Orthodox; reading a lot of Orthodox books and, once in 2011, visiting a local Orthodox church and experiencing Divine Liturgy. Of probably every church experience I’ve had, including Protestant and Catholic (both ordinary and extraordinary forms), more than any other, that one Sunday has stuck with me. For numerous reasons I didn’t become Orthodox but I love the Orthodox Church(es). Currently, I am regularly attending Divine Liturgy at an Eastern Catholic parish and I love it. I will always be Catholic and every day I pray for the reconciliation of East and West.

The post below is from 2011 when I visited that Orthodox church. I re-post it here because I think about this experience frequently. More than this, as I have been reconnecting with my faith and going to church again I remembered this experience which then posed a question for me: Why, when the Divine Liturgy had so affected me, have I not gone to the Easter Catholic church from which I know the priest and several members? Now I am there and it means so much to me.

Visiting St. John the Wonderworker Serbian Orthodox Church

Deacon: Bless, Master.

Priest: BLESSED is the kingdom of the Father, and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.

Choir: Amen.

And thus began the Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom at the little and beautiful St. John the Wonderworker Serbian Orthodox Church this last Sunday of All Saints morning. This was my first time to ever cross the threshold of an Eastern Orthodox church. This was my first time to participate in an Orthodox liturgy. This was my first time to hear Russian (or was it Serbian?) spoken in a church (though most of the service was in English). This was my first time to see icons in a truly reverential context. It was an hour and a half of a lot of personal firsts.

I was very nervous about going. I am wary of both my tendencies to romanticize experiences and to be cynical. I am also a ponderer and book-learner more than a doer much of the time, which allows me to keep experiences (and their required responses) at bay. I have been reading about Eastern Orthodoxy for a while now. Why I am doing so is a long story, nonetheless I am loving it and being challenged. But I had never been to an Orthodox church. So, when a couple weeks ago my wife and a very good friend of ours visited this same church on a sudden and impulsive whim, I knew I would finally have to make a visit as well.

What did I find there? Walking to the entrance I met some friends that I did not know attended the church. That was a blessing. The church is small and, as you can see from the image above, stands out architecturally. I find it beautiful. I took my eldest daughter with me; she was eager and liked it very much. My daughter knows several of the people that were there. The service was not like anything I grew up with (Baptist/Radical Reformation). Though translated into English (and thank God for the printed handout so I could follow along) the liturgy is ancient. People entered quietly, greeted each other quietly, lit candles, kissed icons (not something with which I am familiar), and stood through most of the service. We did our best to follow, to sing the words (I found it beautiful), to cross ourselves when we should (this was another first for me), and to show appropriate reverence and not look too out of place. We did not participate in either the communion (because we are not Orthodox) or in the kissing of icons, etc. There was the constant noise of children and babies; this is a family oriented community. The interior was dim, but not dark, solemn but not dour, colorful but simple, and of course, the icons which are unique and beautiful (a common word in this whole experience). The homily delivered was excellent–a remembering of all the Saints and the martyrs that are examples to us, and a reminder that Christ’s resurrection really means something, not only in terms of final salvation, but that we are not the same because of Christ’s glory; something profound has changed within us. After the service my daughter and I spoke with Father David (I believe that is how one should address him). He made a point of coming up to us and welcoming us. We did not stay for the after-service meal, but most did. They have a large backyard with garden and play structure for the kids.

What did I think about it all? I should qualify my thoughts first, and maybe get just a little too personal. I am not a “church shopper.” I do not want to consume Christianity. I am not looking for the next “meaningful” thing. I do not want a hip church, or a programmatic church, or a second chapter of Acts church, or an un-church, or a high church. I am not searching for something new or even something old. And I do not want to make decisions based on emotions, and certainly not on heresy. I am not seeking out an “experience.” In fact, I am not really searching for a church at all. And certainly I do not want to go in any direction without my wife with me. Still, and with trepidation, I am exploring. I have been on a journey, a slow journey for sure, examining the tradition I grew up in and was trained in. I have had a lot of questions, a lot of soul searching, a lot of reading. I have tended to be wary of just about everything one finds in an Orthodox church (keep in mind my limited experience): Formal liturgy, recited prayers, icons, religious garb, incense, etc., etc. And yet, my world has been subtlety shifting for several years. I do not know where God will lead me and my family. Wherever He leads that is where I want to go.

With all that in mind, I will say two things about this one visit: a) I am still on my journey, still wondering, still studying, still praying, still seeking God’s guidance and wisdom, and b) I loved it, really loved it. I want to go back and learn more about what I experienced that first time. I want to understand why I loved it and what that means.

Final thoughts: I am humbled by how much I don’t know about Christianity, about those who came before, about the practices of Christians around the world. Orthodoxy is an entirely new study for me. I am often conflicted in what I believe, and what I want to believe. This is a bad place to be according to my past Christian training, but I have since come to believe that I would rather be in the hands of God on a surreptitious  journey than out of His hands with full confidence in my beliefs. I can only praise God for His love and fall on my face and ask for His mercy. I thank Him for this church experience and I pray for His guidance.

A footnote: Take another look at the beginning of the liturgy quoted at the beginning of this post. Now consider these words by Alexander Schmemann in For the Life of the World (1963/2004, p. 28):

The Orthodox liturgy begins with the solemn doxology: “Blessed is the Kingdom of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.” From the beginning the destination is announced: the journey is to the Kingdom. This is where we are going–and not symbolically, but really. In the language of the Bible, which is the language of the Church, to bless the Kingdom is not simply to acclaim it. It is to declare it to be the goal, the end of all our desires and interests, of our whole life, the supreme and ultimate value of all that exists. To bless is to accept in love, and to move toward what is loved and accepted. The Church thus is the assembly, the gathering of those to whom the ultimate destination of all life has been revealed and who have accepted it. This acceptance is expressed in the solemn answer to the doxology: Amen. It is indeed one of the most important words in the world, for it expresses the agreement of the Church to follow Christ in His ascension to His Father, to make this ascension the destiny of man. It is Christ’s gift to us, for only in Him can we say Amen to God, or rather He himself is our Amen to God and the Church is the Amen to Christ. Upon this Amen the fate of the human race is decided. It reveals that the movement toward God has begun.

Amen.

[Feast of the Holy Dormition]

So the Truth Does Not Die on Earth

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I have been reading The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky. I do not believe I was ready to read it before, though I tried several times. But now I am truly amazed. Every page has depth, riches, and profound psychological and spiritual characters studies. And the descriptions of life in 19th century Russia are utterly fascinating.

Perhaps I am ready to read this masterwork because I have been diving into Eastern Orthodox Christian spirituality. My mind and heart have been coming alive as I’ve explored the Divine Liturgy, monasticism, prayer, and the lives of the eastern saints. Naturally, this has led me to the Slavic (especially east Slavic) countries and their lived experience.

A Monk (Aleksandr Kosnichyov, 2006)

And then this passage caught my attention. It is showing the mind of Alyosha, a novice in the local Russian Orthodox monastery and the hero of the story:

Oh, how well he understood that for the humble soul of the simple Russian, worn out by toil and grief, and, above all, by everlasting injustice and everlasting sin, his own and the world’s, there is no stronger need and consolation than to find some holy thing or person, to fall down before him and venerate him: “Though with us there is sin, unrighteousness, and temptation, still, all the same, there is on earth, in such and such a place, somewhere, someone holy and exalted; he has the truth; he knows the truth; so the truth does not die on earth, and therefore someday it will come to us and will reign over all the earth, as has been promised.” — from The Brothers Karamazov

The Sick Husband (Vassily Maximov,1881)

I think of how desperate we all are to know that somehow the promises of God are true, that they will be fulfilled someday, and that He can be trusted. I look at myself and see a wretched sinner and I think the world cannot count on me to be holy enough or faithful enough such that truth will not die on earth. But if I am not attentive I might think of myself as different than that simple Russian and start to believe that, perhaps, I don’t need the saints. But I know in my heart the world needs holy people, saints, living and dead, that can be counted on. And as I see them I see too that the promises of God are true and good.

[published on the Feast of the Holy Cross]

Procession of the Cross in Kursk Province by Ilya Repin (1880–1883; Tretyakov Gallery, Moscow)

Death to the World

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But far be it from me to glory except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. (Galatians 6:14)

Source: https://www.youthoftheapocalypse.com/

Increasingly I have been drawn to examples of monks and saints who gave up everything for Christ, that is, they died (or are dying) to the world. I read the words of Saint Paul above and I think, “I, and nearly every Christian I’ve ever known personally, have never taken those words seriously.”

I have written a lot on this site about my journey of faith from Protestantism to the Catholic Church. I have covered topics about tradition and liturgy, politics and culture, scripture and prayer, and a lot of other things of interest to me. I regularly read the Bible and pray, I go to confession and I go to Mass/Divine Liturgy, I even sang in the church choir for a while, but I feel as though I’m always standing at a threshold looking in the direction of some deeper desire that I am perpetually unwilling to fully acknowledge and embrace.

For if I do embrace it… I know I shall die.

And he said to all, “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)

Slowly, every so slowly, I’ve been coming to the realization that the answer to LIFE is DEATH.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. (John 12:24-25)

Can I truly fully acknowledge and embrace these words of Christ, words that, having read many times over, I rationalized and never accepted their clear demands? Am I willing to die, to give up my passions, to die to the world? Am I willing, even able, to hate my life? And if I am, what will that look like, what will be asked of me? What are the actions, the tasks, the daily choices I must make? How do I commit to such an endeavor? This, I believe, is that threshold before me.

Beneath the brittle surface,
The vain, self-interested, clinging love,
The maddening longing,
Which only obscures what lies below,
There is a silently flowing river:
A river of compassion, bowels of mercy,
A feeling of the other’s pain,
Flowing into a vast, vast ocean of sorrow.
It is the sorrow of a great funeral:
The death of sensual self-love.
Although it is a sorrow,
One enters it willingly, with joy,
For there is such tenderness in its pain.
And at last, in this sorrow,
There is perfect freedom.
This is the love that never dies, never fails:
A proof of immortality.
This is the pain that the everlasting Way
Embraced willingly, sharing our pain.
This is the cross that He asks us to bear.
This is the death that He asks us to die.
And at last, in this death,
There is perfect peace.
(from Christ the Eternal Tao, chapter 39, by Hieromonk Damascene)

Two Analogies of Freedom

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Beautiful snow-capped mountain peaks jut into a glorious blue sky. Climbers, dark silhouettes in the clear air, make their way up a ridge on their way to the summit. Their movements are slow and methodical yet graceful. Distant peaks ring the horizon like stunning diamonds. This is an image of freedom. In fact, one of the most popular mountaineering books in English is called “Mountaineering: The Freedom of the Hills.”

Alison Hargreaves in 1986 on a first ascent of a hard route on Kangtega (6779), Nepal. Hargreaves was one of the most accomplished high alpine climbers with a stunning carreer. In 1995 she would die at age 33 while descending K2, thje second highest mountain in the world, leaving behind a husband and two children.
Source: https://alpinist.com/features/freedom-in-the-hills/

A sailboat glides along the rolling waves of a blue sea under bright sunny skies. The sails are full of wind and the boat leans gracefully as it moves quickly through the water. The crew sits along the windward rail as they scan the undulating surface of the sea. This too is an image of freedom. In fact, “freedom” is a common word in sailing book titles, sailing social media account names, boat names, and sailing videos.

Morning Cloud 3, 45ft ocean racing yacht, beginning her fateful voyage in 1974, The yacht was severely damaged by two mammoth waves off the coast of West Sussex. Two of the seven crew members would not return alive.
Source: https://www.pbo.co.uk/seamanship/lessons-learned-from-the-sinking-of-morning-cloud-3-88859

When I was younger I climbed mountains and I am still an armchair mountaineer. But these days you will more often find me and my family on our little sailboat at our local lake. From experience I can attest to the beauty of these sports. I can also attest to what freedom actually means when climbing mountains and sailing boats. It’s not exactly the romantic image of freedom of the book cover or poster. And here lies a lesson on true freedom compared to the popular libertine and libertarian concepts of liberty we often find today.

Both of these analogies of freedom offer us images of people who have left behind the cares of the world. Life is more simple, it seems, when one hikes the hills and sails the seas. In a real sense that is true. But it’s also deceptive. At every moment the mountains and the seas put up challenges and dangers that are very real and often require strict movements and calculated responses. In fact, each sport has its own highly specific tools, knowledge, actions, and language. Make a mistake and one will suffer, perhaps even die. That sounds rather harsh but it is, in fact, part of the appeal. It is also, ironically, where one finds freedom.

These little scenes are much like life, but we often don’t see it that way. Freedom, we are told, is to be able to do whatever one wants without restrictions. Yet this kind of freedom quickly becomes a form of slavery to one’s passions. True freedom comes from stripping away everything that is unnecessary, everything that is unfruitful. But that only makes sense when one seeks a goal of great value.

Around 600 A.D., John Climacus wrote his famous ascetical treatise, The Ladder of Divine Ascent, outlining thirty steps upwards towards the perfect model of perfection, Jesus Christ. Those steps are the virtues that counter the passions, and by overcoming the passions we increase in righteousness and begin, by God’s grace through the saving actions of Jesus Christ, to enter into the process of theosis. That ascetical work, hard as it is, leads us towards the freedom from sin and into the joy of union with God. That ascetical work is like the limitations self imposed by the mountaineer and sailor done to ensure success.

The 12th century Ladder of Divine Ascent icon (Saint Catherine’s Monastery, Sinai Peninsula, Egypt) showing monks, led by John Climacus, ascending the ladder to Jesus, at the top right.
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ladder_of_Divine_Ascent

For the Christian the goal of great value, also called the pearl of great price, is theosis. More than being free of sin and going to Heaven, although that is part of it, theosis is about partaking in the Divine Life. We are told by Christ that the first shall be last, that only the man who gives up his life will find it, that the seed must die in order for the tree to grow, to take up our crosses and follow Him. Emptying ourselves we will receive a fullness beyond compare. Only in giving up our freedom will we receive true freedom. These are hard words to take. In fact, they are impossible to accept unless the Holy Spirit softens our hearts because it is so unnatural to us sinners.

If we are to be like God, to partake of the Divine Life, then we must give up everything that is not a part of God. We must give up our passions, that is our pride, anger, vanity, lusts, and self-centeredness. We must become poor in spirit, mourn, be meek, hunger and thirst for righteousness, be merciful, be pure in heart, be peacemakers, be willing to be persecuted because of righteousness, and accept that others will insult us falsely say all kinds of evil against us. In broad strokes this is the “ladder” we must climb if we are to reach the summit.

Although we need to be reminded of this regularly we also know it to be true, our consciences bearing this out. If we reject our consciences then we are rejecting our salvation. This is the height of foolishness. We become like ships that founder and sink.

This charge I commit to you, Timothy, my son, in accordance with the prophetic utterances which pointed to you, that inspired by them you may wage the good warfare, holding faith and a good conscience. By rejecting conscience, certain persons have made shipwreck of their faith[.] (1 Timothy 1:18-19)

Mountaineers and sailors know that accepting severe limits on their freedom within the context of mountaineering and sailing is the only way to achieve true freedom and thus true joy in those endeavors. Only through sever limits do we truly live. By analogy it is also the way for the disciple of Christ, the one who takes up their cross and follows Him.

G345XN AJAX NEWS PHOTOS – 10TH SEPTEMBER,1974. SHOREHAM, ENGLAND. – WRECK SALVAGED – 741009/741109/GR1. A DIVER FROM THE SALVAGE BARGE SURVEYS ALL THAT REMAINS OF THE HULL OF MR HEATH’S YACHT MORNING CLOUD AS SHE WAS BROUGHT INTO SHOREHAM HARBOUR. THE £45,000 OCEAN RACER, THE THIRD WHICH MR HEATH HAS OWNED, WAS WRECKED IN A GALE OFF THE SUSSEX COAST ON SEPT 2ND,1974. TWO MEN LOST THEIR LIVES IN THE TRAGEDY. A YACHT SURVEYOR AT THE SCENE IN SHOREHAM SAID THE BOAT WAS A TOTAL LOSS. MOST OF THE STARBOARD SIDE WAS MISSING AND THE MAST AS WELL AS THE ENGINE HAD GONE.
PHOTO:JONATHAN EASTLAND/AJAX
REF:7410. Image shot 1974. Exact date unknown.
Source: https://www.pbo.co.uk/seamanship/lessons-learned-from-the-sinking-of-morning-cloud-3-88859

Becoming Divine

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The icon of the Transfiguration by Theophan the Cretan depicts the event where Jesus Christ is transformed, revealing his divine glory to his disciples, Peter, James, and John, on Mount Tabor. Theophan the Cretan, also known as Theophanes the Greek, was a renowned iconographer of the late 14th and early 15th centuries. His Transfiguration icon is known for its use of color, particularly warm earth tones and gold, to unify the heavenly and earthly realms depicted in the scene.

May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, that through these you may escape from the corruption that is in the world because of passion, and become partakers of the divine nature. (2 Peter 1:2–4)

Many times I read over these words from Saint Peter but I never paused to contemplate the phrase “become partakers of the divine nature.” The very idea of becoming partakers of the divine nature, though boldly stated here, was never a topic of preaching or teaching in my Protestant upbringing. And later, when I first heard the words of Saint Athanasius below, I was shocked.

“God became man so that man might become god” (St. Athanasius, On the Incarnation 54:3)

These words have rung like a bell down through the history of the apostolic Church(es) ever since they were penned in the 4th century. Alas, they have also been forgotten by many who call themselves Christian and some have even felt themselves scandalized by those words. I know the Protestant world from which I came would have rejected such ideas. And yet…

Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:1)

Are we not to be imitators of Christ? Yes! Is He not the Son of God? Of course! But these words roll off our tongues too easily. Have we not become complacent, given over to excuses? I have.

If imitation of Christ is about checking the boxes of moral perfection it’s easy to back away a bit. No one can reasonably expect me to actually check all those boxes. Right? But if imitation is to become divine… that sounds very interesting.

“You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48)

But what is this perfection? I was always taught being a good Christian is to seek moral perfection. And that is true but that is only part of the picture. When something is perfect it is, in the ancient and Biblical sense, to be brought to its proper end, to be finished, completed, lacking in nothing. For humans it means to be what a human is meant to be, that is, fully human as God intends. This is the telos of salvation. To seek it is to seek God, to desire to be like God, to be the Image of God finally and fully realized. So yes, it does mean moral perfection because it means total perfection, to be as God is, perfect.

This is theosis. This is what being a disciple of Christ is all about. This is the pearl of great price.

I’m not writing this to say anything new or profound, rather I want to point to a book and two videos that have helped me to understand that the burning in my soul is my desire for theosis.

The book is: Called to Be the Children of God: The Catholic Theology of Human Deification Edited by a friend of mine, this book looks at the concept of theosis/deification/divinization from the Old Testament down through the centuries, much of it as understood within the Catholic Church. It’s an excellent overview with countless quotes from the Bible and Church history. For a Christian not familiar with the concept of theosis (so easy to be ignorant these days) this book might blow their mind.

The videos, which are from the Eastern Orthodox viewpoint and are also excellent, are here:

Blessings to you.

[Third Sunday After Pentecost, Feast of Saints Peter and Paul, Apostles]

Saint Paul and Christian Classical Education

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We used to be in the Christian Classical Home Schooling Movement. We home schooled our three kids until they moved over to public high school. I wrote the article below in 2011. I think it still holds up. In fact, as I re-read it today, I feel convicted. I need to follow the great saint’s teaching myself. I don’t so much of the time.

I do not know if Saint Paul ever developed a detailed educational foundation or curriculum or program in the way that we might today. He may have in person as he spread the Gospel, but he certainly didn’t in his letters. And I doubt he ever founded a school (of course, if he did he would not have needed to use the word “classical” in its name). I guess that for Paul “starting” this thing we call Christianity was enough to keep him busy and get him killed (of course he didn’t start it but he was a laborer laying the foundation). But still, as I ponder what Christian Classical Education is or might be, I wonder what Paul would contribute. Without trying to turn this into an overwhelming project for which I am unprepared, I want to briefly look at only a couple of verses from Paul’s letter to the church at Philippi. He writes in Philippians 4:8-9:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. (ESV)

Consider this list:

  • What is true
  • What is honorable
  • What is just
  • What is pure
  • What is lovely
  • What is commendable
  • What is excellent
  • What is worthy of praise

What do we do with such a list? Imagine going to your local school board and proposing that the district’s curriculum be revamped to begin with this list. Ha! I dare you.

Paul says to think about these things.

To think. In the minds of our modern educators, and most of the rest of us, thinking is almost tantamount to doing nothing. Ever see someone thinking? What are they doing? On the outside they are often quite still, maybe staring into the distance. In effect, they are doing nothing. And yet, they are doing a great deal. Now, if they are not thinking alone, staring placidly off into space, then they are probably in dialogue with someone. But a true dialogue can seem to be unfocused and wandering, which is also antithetical to teaching in the modern sense. Our modern education system is partially based on a sense of urgency–we cannot afford to waste time with thinking when we have so much knowledge to get into those little brains. It is a system that must swap dialogue with lecture. But this modern system denies the existence of the human soul. Is that what we want?

Paul says to think about these things.

What is thinking? I know nothing about the brain as a subject of scientific study. I know there are chemicals and electrical impulses involved, but more than that? I know nothing. However, I gather thinking is a mystery of our minds, of our humanity. I use the word mystery because I doubt science can ever, truly plumb the depths and workings of thinking. Thinking is a mystery because it is a force of great power that seems to have no substance, no true existence, no way to completely contain it and control it as a totality. We can guide it, use it, encourage it, welcome it, and share it, sometimes even fear it, but we cannot subdue it. To think is to ponder, to wonder, to suppose, to engage, to meditate. More importantly, thinking is to take an idea into oneself, into one’s soul, and turn it over and over and make it one’s own, or to reject it in favor of another.

So then we ponder and wonder, suppose and engage, meditate and bring into one’s soul

  • What is true
  • What is honorable
  • What is just
  • What is pure
  • What is lovely
  • What is commendable
  • What is excellent
  • What is worthy of praise

Can you think of any better education? I can’t.

Paul could have left it there, but he goes on. He writes, “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me…” Consider this, Paul is able to confidently write that the Philippians have directly experienced him in such a way that they have:

  • learned from Paul
  • received from Paul
  • heard from Paul
  • seen in Paul

This list is somewhat cryptic, but I think we can get a glimpse into how Paul was a teacher. First the Philippians learned from Paul. He saw himself as a teacher. He had intent. He knew what he wanted to teach them. And he taught them thoroughly enough, with enough feedback, to know that they leaned. Then he says they have received. This implies a giving, a handing over. There was something that he left with them, something they now have. He can write to them because he knows they have what he gave. In this sense they are more like Paul than they were before. The goal of the classical educator is that his pupils will one day become his colleagues. The Philippians are now that much closer to being colleagues of Paul; they have something that Paul has. Third he says they heard from Paul. Teaching often involves speaking and hearing, but sometimes we forget what a gift is language. If you are like me then you love Paul’s letters, but you would really love to hear him speak, to ask him questions, to sit at his feet. Paul engaged their minds as God intended, as their minds were designed to function, by using language. Speaking also requires presence. Paul was with the Philippians, in person, in the flesh; they heard his voice, knew its sound, picked up on nuances of meaning in the subtleties of his voice. To hear in this way, that is to listen to ideas spoken, is a profoundly human experience. We do not know if the Philippians heard Paul specifically because he preached, or perhaps led them in Socratic dialogue, or even just through conversation, but they heard. Finally, and this may be the most important, they saw. Paul presented himself as an example. He lived what he taught. Or better yet, he embodied the Logos. The Gospel, the message, the content that Paul taught, handed over, and spoke, was also visible in his life and actions. Paul could rightly say, “look at me.” The best teachers embody the logos.

Can we find more about how Paul taught? Yes, I’m sure we can. But just from these two verses we get something profound. We find that Paul, with confidence, can say the Philippians

  • learned from Paul
  • received from Paul
  • heard from Paul
  • saw in Paul

And what did they learn?

  • What is true
  • What is honorable
  • What is just
  • What is pure
  • What is lovely
  • What is commendable
  • What is excellent
  • What is worthy of praise

From this alone we can know that Paul was a master teacher in the fullest Christian Classical model. How this will look in your own teaching will be unique, but there is no better foundation that I can find.

And then Paul writes:

“…practice these things…”

Paul both taught in person and was writing to the Philippians with an Ideal Type in mind, that is the complete or perfect Christian, that is Christ. Christ is the logos. We, because we are Christians, because we are disciples, seek to embody the Logos in our lives. It is not enough to find the idea of the Ideal Type good or fascinating or excellent. One must put it into practice and live it. To practice is to work and persevere at imitation. To imitate is to behold, to embrace, to take into one’s being and seek to embody the Ideal Type in one’s life and actions.

David Hicks wrote: “To produce a man or woman whose life conforms to the Ideal in every detail is education’s supremely moral aim.” (Norms and Nobility, p. 47) Is this not also the passion of Paul, that the Philippians live’s would conform to the Ideal of Christ in every detail? And how are the Philippians to do this?

“…practice these things…”

Now, if you haven’t noticed, I have not defined what Christian Classical Education is or how to do it. Partly this is tactical; I don’t have a clear answer. On the other hand I will offer a quote from Andrew Kern:

Education is the cultivation of wisdom and virtue by nourishing the soul on truth, goodness, and beauty so that the student is better able to know and enjoy God.

I cannot think of a better, more fundamental description of what a Christian Classical Education is all about. There is a lot in there, and a lot of room for developing strategies of teaching, but if this is what we are aiming for, if this is what we are building on, if this is our longing, then consider again the words of Saint Paul:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Do that and the God of peace shall be with you.

Celebrating and Proclaiming Corpus Christi

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Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly
abundantly above all that we ask or think,
according to the power that works in us,
to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus
to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21

On Corpus Christi Sunday* my teenage son and I joined in our local Corpus Christi procession. This was a joint effort between several parishes and the route traveled over 6.8 miles between our two metro-area cities. My son and I only walked the first part (about 2 miles) because that’s all my bad knee could handle. It was a joyful affair with much singing, mostly in Spanish, and recited prayers, mostly the Rosary. We also stopped in front of the jail and prayed for the inmates. We had great police support as we walked down blocked off streets through the center of the city.

All in all, this was a kind of culmination of a great several days for me.

The procession makes its way across a footbridge over the river.

I have written previously about coming back to the Church. This return has been a true joy for me.

On Saturday before Corpus Christi Sunday I went to confession for the first time in a long time. What a blessing! Later that day my Father’s Day gift arrived in the mail; three icons and some candles (that quote from Ephesians above came in the packaging). I put the icons on the wall near my desk for my prayer corner. Sunday morning I went to church, this time to a parish I had not visited for a long time and things had changed… for the better! What a reverent and beautiful Mass. It was a Novus Order Mass done mostly in Latin, with Gregorian Chant beautifully sung, lots of incense, the priest facing Ad orientem, ten male altar servers, and recently installed altar rails where I received the Blessed Host on the tongue. I’m not waving the traditionalist flag here, just noting that reverence due is helped by reverent forms of worship. Then, that afternoon, was the procession. I would say that was a great several days.

The procession walks along the river on the way to the next city.

*What is Corpus Christi? Here is a statement from the Archdiocese of Portland’s website:

The Feast of Corpus Christi, also known as the Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ, is a Catholic celebration of the real presence of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist—and thus a sacred reminder that, in every Mass, Jesus’ one sacrifice of Calvary is sacramentally made present and offered anew for “the forgiveness of the sins we daily commit” (CCC 1366). While Holy Thursday recalls Christ’s institution of the Eucharist at the Last Supper, Corpus Christi gives Catholics a joyful opportunity to honor our Eucharistic Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. This includes public devotion apart from Mass.

I want to live in a union of love with God

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Alleluia! The Spirit of the Lord has filled the whole world.
Come, let us adore him, alleluia.

Apologetics played a big part in my conversion but they always left me wanting. In the end I wanted not an argument or a logical proof of the Church’s validity and authenticity, rather I wanted to become a different person. I wanted deification, theosis, divinization. I do find this concept within Catholicism but it is from the Eastern Orthodox and Byzantine Catholicism that one find deification emphasized. In short, I want nothing else than to experience God, to be united with God.

I’ve been reading The Mountain of Silence: A Search for Orthodox Spirituality by Kyriacos C. Markides. In it I find this wonderful exchange:

“So, when during the liturgy we recite the prayer “I believe in one God…,” Father Maximos went on after I shifted to second gear, “we try in reality to move from an intellectual faith in God to the actual vision of God. Faith become Love itself. The Creed actually mean ‘I live in a union of love with God.’ This is the path of the saints. Only then can we say that we are true Christians. This is the kind of Faith that the saints possess as direct experience. Consequently they are unafraid of death, of war, of illness, or anything else of this world. They are beyond all worldly ambition, of money, fame, power, safety, and the like. Such person transcend the idea of God and enter into the experience of God.”

“But how many people can really know God that way?” I complained.

“Well, as long as we do not know God experientially then we should at least realize that we are simply ideological believers,” Father Maximos relied dryly. “The ideal and ultimate form of true faith means having direct experience of God as a living reality.”

This morning I recited the Creed with a group of local believers as we celebrated Pentecost Sunday and I thought about those Christians two thousand years ago experiencing God come upon them and transform them. The world has not ever been the same since.

[Pentecost Sunday]

Ascending to God

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Awake, O north wind,
and come, O south wind!
Blow upon my garden,
let its fragrance be wafted abroad.
Let my beloved come to his garden,
and eat its choicest fruits.
(Song of Solomon 4:16)

My fellow pilgrims may God bless you. I’ve begun reading The Ladder of Divine Ascent by Saint John of the Ladder (a.k.a. St. John Climacus). I cannot say that I am prepared to read such a work. I long for the holiness of the saints but I am so caught up in the things of this world. Nonetheless, I am encouraged reading the words of St. John of the Ladder.

Source: https://www.stvolodymyr.ca/parish-news-updates/sunday-of-st-john-climacus-ladder

Of course, he is writing primarily for monks and not for those of us with wives and children and jobs. But he did not forget us:

“Some people living carelessly in the world have asked me ‘We have wives and are beset with social cares, and how can we lead the solitary life?’ “I replied to them, ‘Do all the good you can. Do not speak evil of anyone. Do not steal from anyone. Do not lie to anyone. Do not be arrogant towards anyone. Do not hate anyone. Do not be absent from the divine services. Be compassionate to the needy. Do not offend anyone. Do not wreck another man’s domestic happiness and be content with what your own wives can give you. If you behave in this way, you will not be far from the Kingdom of Heaven.”

Simple enough, right? The closer I examine myself the more clear it is to me that I have a long way to go. All to easily I can speak evil of another, lie and be arrogant, hate and lack compassion, etc. I have also been “absent from divine services” far too often. Perhaps it is simple but it is not easy. In fact, it’s impossible without the mercies and grace of God. I have no reason to boast except in the Lord (1 Corinthians 1:31).

With the help of Christ, the Holy Spirit and intercessory prayer, perhaps I will climb that ladder of divine ascent. “If you behave in this way, you will not be far from the Kingdom of Heaven.” But for now, my feet are on the ground of this world and I am even challenged by the first rung of the ladder.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation[.]
(2 Corinthians 1:3)

May God bless you.

[Seventh Sunday of Easter, Solemnity of the Ascension of the Lord]

Of Dead Popes, Faith and Reengaging

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I don’t know where to begin, so I’ll start here…

On the morning after Easter Sunday 2025 Pope Francis died.

Image source: https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/262379/pope-francis-the-pope-of-the-peripheries-who-shook-up-the-church

I entered the Catholic Church in 2013, the same year Jorge Mario Bergoglio was elected pope. He took the name Francis. Later that year I also took that name when I became Catholic. My journey to that moment began, one could say, with the death of another pope, John Paul II.

I grew up Baptist and anti-Catholic. I never knew any Catholics, never even set foot inside a Catholic church, but when JPII died in 2005 I found myself watching on television the throngs of mourners outside St. Peter’s and I was deeply moved. In fact, I was strangely transfixed. Then I found myself closely following the conclave that elected Pope Benedict XVI. I knew it was more than curiosity but no way in hell would I have believed if someone told me that a journey had begun and I would someday be Catholic.

But I did become Catholic and I am glad I did. And yet, we all go through dry spells and recently I’ve been far from the Church. I never gave up claiming my faith but I also took a big step backwards and began exploring other areas of faith, other religions, and even some esoterica. I won’t go into all the reasons why but in short I was pulling back from having fallen into a kind of ultra-conservative traditionalist Catholic swamp (it’s a long story). I needed to clear my head and realign my heart. Then Covid hit and it became easy to pull back and not go back.

But now I’m thinking about a dead pope and I feel drawn to the faith that drew me before and still holds me even if I didn’t know what I wanted. Then there was another conclave and I couldn’t stop following the coverage. And now I’m going back to Mass. And I’m praying the Rosary again. And I like the new pope, Leo XIV. What a great name! I’m very curious about him.

But my faith isn’t about popes. It’s about Christ. And I’m dong a lot of thinking and discerning these days. Perhaps even this old blog of mine will be resurrected.